What Will My Friends Think?

Imagine this: you're about to start your first day of middle school. You've spent all summer collecting your new wardrobe--the latest shoes, a vast assortment of skinny jeans, and T-shirts showcasing your favorite celebrity. You have the cutest backpack, and you got a great deal on all the school supplies you need. You call up your friends and find out that you have a few classes together. Cool! Everything's perfect...until you wake up and find a huge pimple on your nose.

Actually, that pimple wasn't that huge--it was probably the size of a needle point; yet, to you, it looked like a pepperoni. If we can remember that feeling of mortification whenever we got a pimple or a bad haircut--why do we forget about it when kids today freak out over "little things"?

After working with the middle school age group for almost 4 years, I have come to realize that they think the entire world revolves around them. Not that this is a bad thing--it's actually pretty scientific. Middle schoolers are at the developmental stage when their peers are the MOST IMPORTANT thing in the world. They tend to care what their classmates will think about a subject more than any other adult. This is mainly because preteens are searching for their own identities. What type of person do they want to be? Usually it's their friends who help mold their personalities--but it is up to adults to help guide them into self-assurance.

So next time a preteen comes crying to you because another student bought the exact same shirt as him/her, please don't roll your eyes. This is honestly a huge deal to them, and it could even distract them from their schoolwork until they reach some kind of resolution. Preteens just want someone to vent to--let's give them an ear every now and then.

Here are some links that provide information on child development:

http://www.pamf.org/children/newsletter/emotional.html

http://www.theparentreport.com/resources/ages/preteen/development.html

http://parenting.ivillage.com/tweens/topics/0,,4rwx,00.html

http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/

http://www.education.com/